i have been pretty much consumed with the birthing process these days. as far as i'm concerned, it doesn't matter how many children you birth, that impending fear of pushing a baby out is still there. so many things are happening, and so many variables. each one different. no guarantees. i have been pretty lucky in the past with smooth deliveries, in a hospital, with perfect babies to show for it.
with ben, i had to be induced because of slight complications at the end of the pregnancy. it was by far my longest labor, like 12 hours i think. but i was comfortable with an epidural and a cozy hospital bed.
with kyle the process started naturally and quickly. about an hour from start to finish. no time for an epidural. however, because of the speed of it i didn't mind so much having him naturally. afterwards i felt great, and it was over before i knew it!
with noah the process also started naturally and even quicker. about 40 minutes from start to finish. barely made it to the hospital before he came out. they laid me down on the bed, me crying out for medication of SOME KIND, they assured me i could have a shot of something after they checked me. the nurse checked and said, um, well, you can push on your next contraction...the baby's head is crowning. no meds for me. so two or three pushes later, noah was born.
he was later taken to the NICU due to a few complication during the birth. he stayed there for about a week. scary. really scary. but all was well.
i don't know that i will go naturally with ashton. i really thought i would have had him by now, and i am scared about how big he may already be. i have an induction date set for wednesday, early am. i'm glad, and not glad at the same time. the last time i was induced i was in labor for 12 hours. yuck. but, i don't want him to get much bigger than he is, so whatever it takes. i am incredibly uncomfortable these days. all my energy is completely zapped. i don't do well being still, but am forced to be. i am ready for the next stage of this baby. i'm pretty sure the kids are too. when mom is out of commission everyone suffers a bit.
thanks to all of you who have been so kind with your prayers and well wishes. i feel very loved and supported!